Annotations and Elucidations

Not long ago, in a letter, I told a friend that, these days,

The blog kettle is on low, on the back burner…. pending a time when I find I have something to say that I haven’t said already many times before….

Since then, I’ve been thinking about that, and what it might truly signify. For one thing, over the years, upon beginning any new piece of writing, it has been rare indeed that I have known ahead of time what that writing might be about or where it might lead, what it might reveal, or say. That was, in fact, the reason for writing it, besides the pleasure I derived from the act. In other words, I would never have found out what I had to say if I had not said it. So by not saying it now, by not writing, it’s possible I’m leaving whole realms unrealized and undiscovered. And at my age — I’ll be sixty-nine in less than two months — that seems a foolish way to live. And so I have decided, on the basis of what I have written, to use that writing as a springboard, by going back over it in the form of what I will bravely call annotations and elucidations — does, for instance, what I said then, still make sense now? Is there something to refute or add? What does it remind me of? How does it apply to what is happening in the world today? Have I fallen out of step? Was I ever in step? Have I learned anything in the interim? Do I, and did I ever, have anything worthwhile to offer? And here I must smile, because in writing these things, I remind myself of one Stephen Monroe, the marginally self-employed, self-absorbed narrator of my novel, A Listening Thing, of which, more than twenty years ago, one reviewer said,

…But who is this guy? He comes across as part Walter Mitty, part Dostoyevskian underground man and mostly a nebbish and loser. His self-absorption, ability to dwell on the minutiae of his life, and habit of taking his emotional pulse over and over may be more than most readers can bear. But in spite of this, Michaelian’s narrator is remarkably appealing and engaging — not exactly charming but someone to whom we wish well….

More than most readers can bear. And so if you can’t, I can certainly understand it. Appealing and engaging. I can understand that too, or at least the possibility of it. As for charming, I say nothing at all.

[ 1952 ]